I hate the commercial that says, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.” An elderly woman lies on the floor, presumably in terrible pain, hoping someone will hear her and come to her aid. The commercial’s product solves her problem by enabling her to connect to help from where she is. Tonight, however, I see that the one who has fallen is me, and there is no product to help me get up. I need to pick myself up, but I lack self-control.
In addition to my dislike for saying no to myself, as I have said before, my focus shifts from activity to activity. But it is worse than that, I become obsessive. Sometimes I binge watch a new favorite TV show and then hyper focus on making videos about it. Then graphic design, then a blog. “And now, it’s taking pictures with the hope that someone will see one and buy it for a whopping $5. I have put so much time and energy into this new pastime that I’m struggling to know what to write for my blog.” (I wrote this a while ago. That phase is already over.) Now, for real, it is Twitter.
I’ve been debating, arguing… secretly cursing… disagreeing and agreeing on Twitter. On the flip side, I have been attacked, accused, supported, insulted, complemented and downright slandered. All of this takes time. A lot of time. Along the way, I have actually learned some things about different views that I didn’t know before. I can’t not get on Twitter to see if someone is posting the same picture for the third time, or if there is some new, interesting question to ponder.
Meanwhile, New Years has come and gone, my delusions of writing great things this year are already covered in cobwebs. I had aspirations of writing about questions atheists ask and how I answer. Why free will is a real thing. I’d discuss my opinion on the damage fragmented Christianity is doing to our faith. Alternative lifestyles and genders contain a wealth of material. At some point I had wanted to put together some information on Our Lady of Guadalupe, the Shroud of Turin and Eucharistic Miracles.
Then it occurred to me:
it’s still January,
it’s still today.
In this present moment, the only moment any of us have, I am writing. Sometimes, fragmented thoughts actually do become a blog post. Happy New Year in each new present moment.